Obama’s plan for Sharia Law may benefit someone. Swiped from the Gunny G Blog.
In a stunning new development, the Tiger Woods legal team has unveiled an ingenious strategy to help the randy golfer avoid the rough in his recent marital problems and possibly skip a financial bloodbath. The answer is surprisingly found in the doctrines of Muslim Shari’ah law. This solution presented itself when Obama czars and other legal gurus, such as “Papa” Cass Sunstein, and Harold “Koo-Koo” Koh suggested importing Muslim law into America. Intrigued, legal experts across the gamut now agree Muslim laws on marriage make perfect sense for the indefatigable romeo Tiger Wood and his web of female relationships, claiming it will also play well to the gallery.
With the Obama Administration’s relentless march to universalize American law along global standards, it seems like a very heady time for Wood’s team to make a play on this bold maneuver. Tiger’s legal squad has brought in several prominent Muslim doctors of law to advise on the implications of Islamic teachings on the subject of his marriage and multiple other dangerous liaisons. Mike Tyson is also flying in to offer advice and support.
The following are the findings and recommendations of these august Muslim divines:
TIGER’S ISLAMIC CONVERSIONFirst, and most essentially – Tiger Woods’ must come out and publicly proclaim he is in fact a Muslim convert. This will immediately and legally put Tiger under the teachings of Muhammad, and allow him to follow the founder of Islam’s prescient example of polygamy. Apparently, Mohammad also boasted a world-class drive, having somewhere between 10 and 20 wives. Announcing his conversion via a TV news conference, preferably between rounds at the Riyadh Classic, would be an excellent approach to be able to stress the authenticity and sincerity of his conversion. He might enlarge here upon his Road to Damascus narrative to explain his epiphany. Doing so in native Middle Eastern garb, say in a tunic or a classic turban would be seen as a tasteful decision, while several authorities stressed that Woods’ donning a Burqa would be “a big mistake.”